Musings of a Palestinian Princess

I'm Seriously Back Now!

2007-11-30T14:06:00.000+02:00

Hi guys,

I didn't abandon you... really I didn't. I have just been living in a fantasy life for a while! For the past year I have been living a hollywood like romance and honestly had no time to write! Love makes you do stupid things, like forgetting your blog... But I am back now with a vengeance!

Since I have last posted, I GOT MARRIED. Yes, thats right, Lucy D. is no longer Lucy D. I am now a Mrs. Lucy!

I plan on writing to this blog more often. Currently, I am living in Long Island with my husband. Most of the work I do are at home gigs... The voice of my blog may change as I am not on the frontlines anymore. I get to look at Palestine, my country, my love with different eyes... Actually, the blogs tone might take on my experiences here in the USA as a Palestinian woman. But then again, I'm in New York and I am sure thats different than being a Palestinian living in the midwest, right?

Anyway, miss you all lots and can't wait to catch up!

Suicide Bomber in Gaza -- A WOMAN!

2006-11-23T22:35:00.000+02:00

A women in her 50's kills herself and 6 others in a suicide bombing...

wow...

so sad...

When I saw her on the news of her presuicide video, the first thing that came to my mind was... wow, she can read.

I think the last two suicide bombers from Palestine have been women???!!! --GASP--

For some silly reason I always think suicide bombers are really hopeless and uneducated.

Lets discuss and profile a suicide bomber, what exactly needs to go through someones mind and life to go to the lengths of killing themselves and killing potentially innocent people.

Alex.. I'm gonna e-mail you!

I'm Back People!

2006-11-15T16:15:00.000+02:00

I was in London and I just got back! If you all are wondering what I was doing, I took a couple courses in Instructional Design and E-learning, a girls gotta get a job you know! So now, I am back home and working! Yey!!! Working right outta my home, don't know why I didn't think of that in the first place!

So lovers, whats new with you all? I really did miss you, but I was really busy taking a HUGE course load and I did not want to get on the computer after I was on it ALL DAY at school!

So, what did I miss??

Oh, btw, I am so excited that Aljazeera ENGLISH was launched today! This is really great news for the middle east, now, everyone can get a good look at what we are really going through!

Miss you all, drop a line!

Paradise Lost: Robert Fisk's eulogy for Beirut

2006-07-29T18:20:00.000+03:00

Thank you Halla for e-mailing this to me:

Paradise Lost: Robert Fisk's eulogy for Beirut
Published: 19 July 2006

Elegant buildings lie in ruins. The heady scent of gardenias gives way to the acrid stench of bombed-out oil installations. And everywhere terrified people are scrambling to get out of a city that seems tragically doomed to chaos and destruction. As Beirut - 'the Paris of the East' - is defiled yet again, Robert Fisk, a resident for 30 years, asks: how much more punishment can it take?

In the year 551, the magnificent, wealthy city of Berytus - headquarters of the imperial East Mediterranean Roman fleet - was struck by a massive earthquake. In its aftermath, the sea withdrew several miles and the survivors - ancestors of the present-day Lebanese - walked out on the sands to loot the long-sunken merchant ships revealed in front of them.
That was when a tidal wall higher than a tsunami returned to swamp the city and kill them all. So savagely was the old Beirut damaged that the Emperor Justinian sent gold from Constantinople as compensation to every family left alive.
Some cities seem forever doomed. When the Crusaders arrived at Beirut on their way to Jerusalem in the 11th century, they slaughtered every man, woman and child in the city. In the First World War, Ottoman Beirut suffered a terrible famine; the Turkish army had commandeered all the grain and the Allied powers blockaded the coast. I still have some ancient postcards I bought here 30 years ago of stick-like children standing in an orphanage, naked and abandoned.
An American woman living in Beirut in 1916 described how she "passed women and children lying by the roadside with closed eyes and ghastly, pale faces. It was a common thing to find people searching the garbage heaps for orange peel, old bones or other refuse, and eating them greedily when found. Everywhere women could be seen seeking eatable weeds among the grass along the roads..."

How does this happen to Beirut? For 30 years, I've watched this place die and then rise from the grave and then die again, its apartment blocks pitted with so many bullets they looked like Irish lace, its people massacring each other.
I lived here through 15 years of civil war that took 150,000 lives, and two Israeli invasions and years of Israeli bombardments that cost the lives of a further 20,000 of its people. I have seen them armless, legless, headless, knifed, bombed and splashed across the walls of houses. Yet they are a fine, educated, moral people whose generosity amazes every foreigner, whose gentleness puts any Westerner to shame, and whose suffering we almost always ignore.
They look like us, the people of Beirut. They have light-coloured skin and speak beautiful English and French. They travel the world. Their women are gorgeous and their food exquisite. But what are we saying of their fate today as the Israelis - in some of their cruelest attacks on this city and the surrounding countryside - tear them from their homes, bomb them on river bridges, cut them off from food and water and electricity? We say that they started this latest war, and we compare their appalling casualties - 240 in all of Lebanon by last night - with Israel's 24 dead, as if the figures are the same.

And then, most disgraceful of all, we leave the Lebanese to their fate like a diseased people and spend our time evacuating our precious foreigners while tut-tutting about Israel's "disproportionate" response to the capture of its soldiers by Hizbollah.

I walked through the deserted city centre of Beirut yesterday and it reminded more than ever of a film lot, a place of dreams too beautiful to last, a phoenix from the ashes of civil war whose plumage was so brightly coloured that it blinded its own people. This part of the city - once a Dresden of ruins - was rebuilt by Rafiq Hariri, the prime minister who was murdered scarcely a mile away on 14 February last year.
The wreckage of that bomb blast, an awful precursor to the present war in which his inheritance is being vandalised by the Israelis, still stands beside the Mediterranean, waiting for the last UN investigator to look for clues to the assassination - an investigator who has long ago abandoned this besieged city for the safety of Cyprus.
At the empty Etoile restaurant - best snails and cappuccino in Beirut, where Hariri once dined Jacques Chirac - I sat on the pavement and watched the parliamentary guard still patrolling the façade of the French-built emporium that houses what is left of Lebanon's democracy. So many of these streets were built by Parisians under the French mandate and they have been exquisitely restored, their mock Arabian doorways bejewelled with marble Roman columns dug from the ancient Via Maxima a few metres away.

Hariri loved this place and, taking Chirac for a beer one day, he caught sight of me sitting at a table. "Ah Robert, come over here," he roared and then turned to Chirac like a cat that was about to eat a canary. "I want to introduce you, Jacques, to the reporter who said I couldn't rebuild Beirut!"

And now it is being un-built. The Martyr Rafiq Hariri International Airport has been attacked three times by the Israelis, its glistening halls and shopping malls vibrating to the missiles that thunder into the runways and fuel depots. Hariri's wonderful transnational highway viaduct has been broken by Israeli bombers. Most of his motorway bridges have been destroyed. The Roman-style lighthouse has been smashed by a missile from an Apache helicopter. Only this small jewel of a restaurant in the centre of Beirut has been spared. So far.

It is the slums of Haret Hreik and Ghobeiri and Shiyah that have been levelled and "rubble-ised" and pounded to dust, sending a quarter of a million Shia Muslims to seek sanctuary in schools and abandoned parks across the city. Here, indeed, was the headquarters of Hizbollah, another of those "centres of world terror" which the West keeps discovering in Muslim lands. Here lived Sayed Hassan Nasrallah, the Party of God's leader, a ruthless, caustic, calculating man; and Sayad Mohamed Fadlallah, among the wisest and most eloquent of clerics; and many of Hizbollah's top military planners - including, no doubt, the men who planned over many months the capture of the two Israeli soldiers last Wednesday.

But did the tens of thousands of poor who live here deserve this act of mass punishment? For a country that boasts of its pin-point accuracy - a doubtful notion in any case, but that's not the issue - what does this act of destruction tell us about Israel? Or about ourselves?
In a modern building in an undamaged part of Beirut, I come, quite by chance, across a well known and prominent Hizbollah figure, open-neck white shirt, dark suit, clean shoes. "We will go on if we have to for days or weeks or months or..." And he counts these awful statistics off on the fingers of his left hand. "Believe me, we have bigger surprises still to come for the Israelis - much bigger, you will see. Then we will get our prisoners and it will take just a few small concessions."

I walk outside, feeling as if I have been beaten over the head. Over the wall opposite there is purple bougainvillaea and white jasmine and a swamp of gardenias. The Lebanese love flowers, their colour and scent, and Beirut is draped in trees and bushes that smell like paradise.

As for the huddled masses from the powder of the bombed-out southern slums of Haret Hreik, I found hundreds of them yesterday, sitting under trees and lying on the parched grass beside an ancient fountain donated to the city of Beirut by the Ottoman Sultan Abdul-Hamid. How empires fall.

Far away, across the Mediterranean, two American helicopters from the USS Iwo Jima could be seen, heading through the mist and smoke towards the US embassy bunker complex at Awkar to evacuate more citizens of the American Empire. There was not a word from that same empire to help the people lying in the park,
to offer them food or medical aid.

And across them all has spread a dark gray smoke that works its way through the entire city, the fires of oil terminals and burning buildings turning into a cocktail of sulphurous air that moves below our doors and through our windows. I smell it when I wake in the morning. Half the people of Beirut are coughing in this filth, breathing their own destruction as they contemplate their dead.

The anger that any human soul should feel at such suffering and loss was expressed so well by Lebanon's greatest poet, the mystic Khalil Gibran, when he wrote of the half million Lebanese who died in the 1916 famine, most of them residents of Beirut:

My people died of hunger, and he who
Did not perish from starvation was
Butchered with the sword;
They perished from hunger
In a land rich with milk and honey.
They died because the vipers and
Sons of vipers spat out poison into
The space where the Holy Cedars and
The roses and the jasmine breathe
Their fragrance.

And the sword continues to cut its way through Beirut. When part of an aircraft - perhaps the wing-tip of an F-16 hit by a missile, although the Israelis deny this - came streaking out of the sky over the eastern suburbs at the weekend, I raced to the scene to find a partly decapitated driver in his car and three Lebanese soldiers from the army's logistics unit. These are the tough, brave non-combat soldiers of Kfar Chim, who have been mending power and water lines these past six days to keep Beirut alive.
I knew one of them. "Hello Robert, be quick because I think the Israelis will bomb again but we'll show you everything we can." And they took me through the fires to show me what they could of the wreckage, standing around me to protect me.

And a few hours later, the Israelis did come back, as the men of the small logistics unit were going to bed, and they bombed the barracks and killed 10 soldiers, including those three kind men who looked after me amid the fires of Kfar Chim.

And why? Be sure - the Israelis know what they are hitting. That's why they killed nine soldiers near Tripoli when they bombed the military radio antennas. But a logistics unit? Men whose sole job was to mend electricity lines? And then it dawns on me. Beirut is to die. It is to be starved of electricity now that the power station in Jiyeh is on fire. No one is to be allowed to keep Beirut alive. So those poor men had to be liquidated.
Beirutis are tough people and are not easily moved. But at the end of last week, many of them were overcome by a photograph in their daily papers of a small girl, discarded like a broken flower in a field near Ter Harfa, her feet curled up, her hand resting on her torn blue pyjamas, her eyes - beneath long, soft hair - closed, turned away from the camera. She had been another "terrorist" target of Israel and several people, myself among them, saw a frightening similarity between this picture and the photograph of a Polish girl lying dead in a field beside her weeping sister in 1939.
I go home and flick through my files, old pictures of the Israeli invasion of 1982. There are more photographs of dead children, of broken bridges. "Israelis Threaten to Storm Beirut", says one headline. "Israelis Retaliate". "Lebanon At War". "Beirut Under Siege". "Massacre at Sabra and Chatila".
Yes, how easily we forget these earlier slaughters. Up to 1,700 Palestinians were butchered at Sabra and Chatila by Israel's proxy Christian militia allies in September of 1982 while Israeli troops - as they later testified to Israel's own court of inquiry - watched the killings. I was there. I stopped counting the corpses when I reached 100. Many of the women had been raped before being knifed or shot.
Yet when I was fleeing the bombing of Ghobeiri with my driver Abed last week, we swept right past the entrance of the camp, the very spot where I saw the first murdered Palestinians. And we did not think of them. We did not remember them. They were dead in Beirut and we were trying to stay alive in Beirut, as I have been trying to stay alive here for 30 years.

I am back on the sea coast when my mobile phone rings. It is an Israeli woman calling me from the United States, the author of a fine novel about the Palestinians. "Robert, please take care," she says. "I am so, so sorry about what is being done to the Lebanese. It is unforgivable. I pray for the Lebanese people, and the Palestinians, and the Israelis." I thank her for her thoughtfulness and the graceful, generous way she condemned this slaughter.
Then, on my balcony - a glance to check the location of the Israeli gunboat far out in the sea-smog - I find older clippings. This is from an English paper in 1840, when Beirut was a great Ottoman city. "Beyrouth" was the dateline. "Anarchy is now the order of the day, our properties and personal safety are endangered, no satisfaction can be obtained, and crimes are committed with impunity. Several Europeans have quitted their houses and suspended their affairs, in order to find protection in more peaceable countries."
On my dining-room wall, I remember, there is a hand-painted lithograph of French troops arriving in Beirut in 1842 to protect the Christian Maronites from the Druze. They are camping in the Jardin des Pins, which will later become the site of the French embassy where, only a few hours ago, I saw French men and women registering for their evacuation. And outside the window, I hear again the whisper of Israeli jets, hidden behind the smoke that now drifts 20 miles out to sea.

Fairouz, the most popular of Lebanese singers, was to have performed at this year's Baalbek festival, cancelled now like all Lebanon's festivals of music, dance, theatre and painting. One of her most popular songs is dedicated to her native city:

To Beirut - peace to Beirut with all my heart
And kisses - to the sea and clouds,
To the rock of a city that looks like an old sailor's face.

From the soul of her people she makes wine,
From their sweat, she makes bread and jasmine.
So how did it come to taste of smoke and fire?

VOTE NO

2006-07-26T20:00:00.000+03:00

Please go to the CNN link below and vote NO.

Spread the word.

http://www.cnn.com/2006/WORLD/meast/07/26/mideast.romeconf/index.html

Remember, poll results determine how the media covers the conflict.

My New Look on Life

2006-07-22T00:09:00.000+03:00

Yes, you heard right. I have a new look on life, I just got LASIK treatment for my eyes and I am pleasantly pleased. I tried to stay off the computer because I didn't want to strain my eyes, you know, not because I was avoiding posting, although that could have a little bit to do with it :P

So, I have been reading all the comments that were left and ofcourse if you read the comments from when I first started the blog till now, nothing really has changed and ofcourse we have not really changed, well, except for the problem that we are having in Lebanon now. I just want to say I really hope my girl Nancy Ajram is safe :)

I would watch the news in the US, but since the reporting here is too funny for words I prefer to talk to my cousin in Beirut for the latest. In the news here, "The Middle East Crisis" flashes on the screen periodically but I still do not get ANY information that will help me think about or formulate any real opinions on the situation. From what it sounds like Hizbollah is winning... The score seems to be 3 Hizbollah men killed, 30 some Israeli's, and a whooping 350 Lebonese, BRAVO BRAVO!

The Israeli's are freeing the Middle East of this terrorist organization called Hizbollah but ofcourse the Lebonese infrastructure down and out and ordinary people like you and me paying the price.

I am glad that something is being done with Hizbollah but this is not the way to do it and I don't think that this attack has anything to do with the 2 Israeli soldiers that were taken by Hizbollah. Israel with its superior intelligence and special forces should be able to do a better job of pinpointing and killing Hizbollah members.

I mean, Hizbollah has racked havoc all over the middle east, including countries like Turkey where innocent people were found dead by the dozens slaughtered and some even buried alive. Hizbollah is not good but the reaction that Israel has shown has done nothing to stop these freaks but instead ruined one of the BEST and DEVELOPED countries in the Middle East.

And I come to my last point. Lebanon famous for its delicious food, beautiful women (and men), great Arabic music, fashion, educated public, and becoming one of the top tourist destination in the Middle East may have started to become to powerful in the sense that they were getting the West to notice them for all the things that Arab Haters didn't want. A modern arabic public.

That would be an oxymoron and everything that Arab Haters could not use to make the ignorant west realize that us Arabs ARE more like the West than many would like to believe. By Western I mean, relatable. Because as much as I love USA and Europe I really love the traditions, culture and modesty of the Middle Eastern people.

The Count Down Begins

2006-07-10T17:39:00.000+03:00

I have exactly one more month till I leave. I just want to kick and scream, "I'm NOT going back." But I kind of have no choice. I am only here on a visitors visa and I have to take my sorry ass back to Palestine next month. I can't help but feel, uhh, helpless.

I try to enjoy every single minute that I am here. Even when I have nothing to do or no where to go, I close my eyes and try to savor that feeling because I know it will end in a month. After I get back and settled in at home, my "I don't want to leave the house" syndrome will hit. Here I am shopping, going to the cinema, bowling, dancing, mini-golfing, eatting out atleast every other day. There are things to do, places to go, people to see.

In Nablus, I put my self under house arrest. I am not comfortable hanging out, people don't even "hang out" in Nablus. Having fun has become a sin. I can imagine things are even worse now. When people are dying everyday and you are living under occupation, having fun, well, thats out of the question. It would just be rude and disrespectful to smile, to eat out, to do just about anything enjoyable under such circumstances.

So, since I don't have much more time left, please excuse me, I'm gonna go take a walk around the block. Its drizzling today but living life to the fullest, well, thats been my motto and always will be. I hope I can do this in Nablus one day.

Changing the World

2006-07-05T21:47:00.001+03:00

I don't think I am going to be able to do it. I know I am not. Hate is so strong, people. When I come on this blog to read the comments left to me, some of them are so self defeating that I wonder why I even bother to write. But then I remember, the purpose of this blog is my journal of what goes on inside my head, a kind of therapy.

Its so silly. When I write about how I feel what the Israel government is doing wrong, I am attacked by every Israeli Government supporter trying to find ANYTHING and EVERYTHING to justify how they are SOOO right and how I am SOOO wrong. Fine, you are right. You win. Thats the only way to win with people like that anyway. Tell them that they are 100% right and that you don't know what the hell is going on in your own country and that every bit of retaliation you personally feel is a figment of your imagination. Go ISRAEL. My new slogan for all the people who want to make me feel like I am wrong for what I go through at the hands of the Israeli government. Ofcourse, silly me, Israel is a PERFECT goverment, now how the hell do I get out of my own home so that all the zionists can come take over everything I have known my whole life and that my ancestors knew there whole life, a country where I supposedly dont belong and that was given to the Jews... (banging head on desk).

And then its so silly. When I write about how retarded I think Palestinians are when they don't follow established rules and guidelines of proper conduct so that we can maybe get somewhere peaceful and they resort to backwards and stupid stupid moves like throwing these stupid homemade missles into Israel. Ok, I understand that Palestinians are stressed out about the situation and feel total and absolute hopelessness but we are in a different era, the information era, and we can win this by peaceful, intelligent and informative ways. I hate it when I am attacked as a ZIONIST when all I want to do is better my people so that we can live normal like people in any other country. We need to educate and bring our communities to a respectful and respectable level. We are not ANIMALS even though we so feel like we are treated like one! The only slogan that would help me stay in tact with the people that criticise this is "Long Live an ONLY Palestine."

PULEASE PEOPLE... If I am going to get comments so deranged and one sided as the ones being left lately. Leave my blog and don't come back.

I am moderate, kiss my ass if you think I am a zionist or a jew hater.

I need a Reality Check - Pronto!

2006-07-04T19:38:00.000+03:00

So guys... I have been having this guilty feeling in the pit of my stomach and thought I should catch up with you all and get a reality check, yes thats right, I need a reality check.

With everything going on in Gaza I am just feeling so insane. I know this is not going to end and I know its going to get worse. I think the whole situation is odd. I know it is the Israeli government just showing the rest of the world its worth in bullying. Sending massive troops to terrorize Gaza is not only an act of plain old bullying it is to show the rest of the world to not mess with Israel.

I have about one more month until I have to return home and even though I miss my family, I can not say that I miss the daily treatment and feeling of isolation. I have gotten used to the smiling faces and the daily "normalness" of life here in New York. I am getting used to being treated human, I am not sure how I am going to handle going back, AGAIN.

Reality check please.

Im Upstate!

2006-06-23T21:44:00.000+03:00

So guys, just wanted to let you know that I made it to upstate New York! Im having a nice and relaxing time with my family!

I will be writing in this blog from time to time. Atleast once or twice a week or whenever I get that urge to write, you know! So keep checking back. I return to Palestine August 11 and then I will continue with the humdrum of my regular life.

I will be writing more soon... For now take care everyone!

Living it Up in NYC

2006-06-15T19:30:00.000+03:00

So as you all may know I am in New York... And it feels SO good! I have seen a lot of my old friends from school and have been going out almost every night! I was thinking I have jet lag but I think I just need to relax, but I am just trying to cram as much fun as I can until August, you know!

Well, I just thought it would be interesting to bring up the fact that I need to leave Palestine in order to enjoy being Palestinian and Arab. Ok, I mean, if you are in Amman you can go to places like Fez and have fun, but its not like the states! I mean here I am in New York, listening to Haifa Wehbe's "wawa" and actually enjoying it! Getting on top of the bars and belly dancing and people think its normal and not assuming you are a prostitute or something, hahaha!

Its liberating to be free and to be able to act as you wish without anyone looking at you with the "bad" eye.

In Palestine, we are depressed, we have the occupation and dealing with so many issues we can't even think about fun but I think its also normal Arabic mentality to be conservative in nature. So even when you are having fun in places like FEZ in Amman, you have to remember that not everyone thinks that the night life is normal and that it is still like a taboo to do these things and that certain types of people go.

Anyway, I just wanted to post that I am having LOTS of FUN!

I'm alive, I'm alive!

2006-06-12T05:43:00.000+03:00

I owe you all a HUGE apology! I haven't had the chance to log on for a long time, I have had way too much going on in my life but things are settling back down again. After my brothers wedding, I went to Jordan and I was there for a couple of weeks and now I am in New York, I will be here until mid August. It feels good to be out of Nablus for a while and kind of scope out some business opportunities while I am here (thats the purpose of my trip). I will definately be returning at the end of summer but this time with something to do. Im kind of investigating business opportunities here, so if anyone has any connections with a business that will go over well in Palestine let me know!

I feel really bad, thanks for everyones concern about me and my where abouts. I am really really sorry to worry all of you all. But its nice to see how much you all care, awwww, thanks! I feel the love!

As for a couple of you who wanted to know if I am for "real." I am seriously, your average Palestinian girl from Nablus. I don't want anyone to know "EXACTLY" who I am, because the minute I say my last name I will be able to be located as my family is pretty well known. As for my name Lucy Widaad, it is my first name only, I have 2 first names as a lot of christians, as Widaad is my given name and Lucy is my baptised name. As for my counter being Turkish, I have lots of Turkish friends and was given that "script" so that I can see the people on my site! I hope that clears some stuff up... Now I am off to read my mail and myspace messages, sorry guys for such a long delay.

I'm ill - I need a dose of freedom.

2006-05-13T12:22:00.000+03:00

You know, I am really sick today. I am sick of everything. I am sick of Israel, I am sick of the USA, I am sick of Iraq. I am sick of Palestine. I am sick of you versus me. I am sick of what happened in the past and its effects on me. I am sick that Israeli Citizen Security is More Important Than My Freedom. I am just sick sick sick.

I am sick that I can't leave my city to go to Ramallah for a beer with my friends without being hassled. I am sick that its hot and I can't go swimming in the Med, a distance of maybe 1 hour from Nablus. I am sick of being degrated and treated like a criminal at checkpoints which surround my whole city. I am sick of feeling like a leashed animal. I am just sick sick sick.

I am sick of being afraid. I am sick of hearing my future sister in law talking about being afraid to arrive at the Tel Aviv airport. I am sick that she will get hassled, I am sick that she may not be allowed in for the wedding. I am sick of being second class. I am just sick sick sick.

I am sick of being afraid of Israeli's. I am sick of being nervous all the time. I am sick about thinking of my future. I am sick that I feel so helpless and hopeless. I am sick and tired of this wedding, I just want it to be over. I am sick of my fear of flying. I am sick sick sick.

I am sick of talking about how sick I am.

I think there needs to be an NGO to come into Nablus and give free mental and emotional therapy to people who have to live under occupation. Especially, when you are STUCK and you see these settlers have all the freedom of moving and you just wish you could drive your car more than 15 miles.

I NEED A VACATION!

No Money, No Honey

2006-05-08T17:54:00.000+03:00

The economy of Palestine is thriving under Hamas rule... NOT!

I wonder what the hell is going to happen here. People are not being paid their salaries (gov't workers), merchants are not seeing cash flow and renters are not paying the rent in our building claiming that they don't have the money. Ouch, that hurts my pocket! Us Palestinians have got to get cracking or we will see a insurgance of violence soon. Lack of money will drive some people to work as hired guns for the Islamic Jihad and related groups leading to violence and more hatered towards Israel, this will effect the peace loving among us as we will also feel the Israeli backlash of making our lives EVEN MORE difficult.

Hamas is entering a long dark tunnel with no way out. With the political party Fatah virtually torn and dying, it is time for us Palestinians to think about building a new national movement.

We must save ourselves, but we cannot do it alone either. It is the time to create a political and social entity that is capable of supporting the government of a state, the Palestinian State. Fatah could not do it because they were obviously corrupt. Hamas does not want to do it, because they do not want to give up their sole role as a "resistance" organization. Therefore a new political and social force must be created. And we must do it now!

Now is the time for us Palestinians to create a responsible, honest, moderate, secular movement. It doesn't have to have a particular political focus but it needs to serve as an organization for supporting life in the Palestinian territories and an instrument for distribution of funds from international donors. This entity will be built using a network of existing NGOs as a nucleus, a support system and guidance. Order and hope need to be restored. and this is the main objective initially. Because we will have funding, and Hamas will not, we will eventually make the Hamas government irrelevant, whether or not the Hamas stay in power.

We will obviously need help to do this and money is not enough. We will need the international community to support us and Arab governments will have to play a big role as moderators and enforcers. The Israeli government has a part to play too. Israel will have to unfreeze the funds it owes the Palestinians to help support our new entity. The ports and border crossings of the Palestinian authorities must be opened to free transport of goods. We have to nip this in the bud NOW, poverty breeds radicalism, and radicalism can be exported. And that means a threat for everyone in the world.

Now the question is, uhhh, how do I get started. Suggestions please. I am so willing to do this, as you all now I am unemployed and I don't think I want to be a gunwoman, I am a PEACE LOVER. So help me.

Need Info - Please Help!

2006-05-01T02:26:00.000+03:00

Does anyone know what visa status an American citizen who marrys a Palestinian Citizen gets?

Here is what I know:

1) Any American can enter Israel with a 3 month travelers visa.
2) They can extend it another 3 months at Ministry of Interior for a total of 6 months.
3) They can travel from Tel Aviv.

But what I want to know is if they are married and have a marriage license from the USA and a church in Palestine, can they DENY entry into Israel/Palestine or can't they because they are married to a Palestinian citizen?

Any information would be greatly appreciated as I can't find any!

I am asking because I have known Americans that come here for touring or school have been denyed a visa and have been sent back to the USA the same day they arrived at the Tel Aviv airport.

Is the person who is married to a Palestinian exempt from this kind of treatment?

Bogardus Social Distance Scale

2006-04-29T15:33:00.000+03:00

How distant are you from each of these groups?

Patriotism - A Double Edged Sword

2006-04-28T20:43:00.000+03:00

"Beware the leader who bangs the drums of war in order to whip the citizenry into a patriotic fervor, for patriotism is indeed a double-edged sword. It both emboldens the blood, just as it narrows the mind. And when the drums of war
reached a fever pitch and the blood boils with hate and the mind has 'closed', the leader will have no need in seizing the rights of the citizenry. Rather, the citizenry, infused with fear and blinded by patriotism, will offer up all their rights unto the leader and gladly so.

How do I know? For this is what I have done. AND I AM CAESAR."
- Julius Caesar -

As I read this quote I couldn't help but think about Israel and American tactics to convince their people that their actions are justified. Patriotism, is a double edged sword. I am proud to be Palestinian but not at the expense of lives lost, and I feel that if the rest of the world just thought this way, then we wouldn't have a problem.

Again, I want to bring up a conversation I had, but this time with a Palestinian guy living in Jerusalem who got upset at me because I was upset over the suicide bombing in Tel Aviv just awhile ago... I thought to myself, ok... I feel sorry for everyone killed, even the Palestinin boy who thought that that was the solution. I can't believe this guy was saying that I should support the bombing, I don't and I will never. Its not the solution. If we are going to go to full fledge war with Israel, this random once in a while Kamikazi style bombing isn't the solution, duh... I am not for violence, but logically, if we are going to go to war, which we can't becuase uhhh, with what?? Home made bombs and our archaic rifles, pulease people... My fellow palestinians have to wake up.

Either, we go to REAL WAR (impossible in my opinion) or we do it peacefully...

And when I suggested we do it peacefully, and gave suggestions, he couldn't talk to many any longer and said to me, well, we will talk another time. BYE.

-ok... confused... I know a lot of people are against violence but there are still a few minority, basically the stupid ones who dont SEE the BIG picture... I am trying to show them its different.

Can you guys help me make a list of things we can do here in palestine to help progress the peace process... How can we demonstrate that we do not want occupation any longer without resorting to violence?

The Question of Al-Quds / Jerusalem

2006-04-28T00:05:00.000+03:00

I was just chatting with an Israeli blogger and we started talking about Jerusalem. As many of you know, Jerusalem is a big cause of strife for everyone. Palestinians and Israeli's consider this ancient city as their own capital.

Anyway, we started discussing about the control of the city. And I brought up that Jerusalem is a very holy city for city for all of the religions. And we started talking mainly about the churches, which are every where in E. Jerusalem, besides seeing mosques you see a lot of churches in East Jerusalem too (Arabic Side.) And I stated that I would like the Palestinian Authority to control East Jerusalem and make it its capital, of course, just as other Muslim Palestinians and Christian Palestinians believe...

Now, get ready for the shock response... He said to me "But we have many Christian Israeli's that are saying, WHAT? We want East Jerusalem because it's holy for the Christians."

My response was of course... WTF?

First of all... There are only two kinds of Israeli Christians. The first group are the Arab Christians, you know Palestinians, just like me, who never left there land when it was invaded. And then there are the immigrants. So what are we talking about here.

How ridiculous is this argument. The immigrants to the All-Jewish nation have a say for who controls E. Jerusalem. Give me a break! There is no such thing as a "real" Israeli Christian unless they are Palestinian Christians who never left the land and they wouldn't be saying that they want Israel to have control cause they are Palestinian anyway. My point is, I love how Israel uses its immigration policy to equal out things so that they can one day use it as a valid reason and some Americans (the largest supporter of Israel) will totally agree because they are in fact blind to the fact that they are pawns of Israeli anyway.

Oh, I just gotta say whatever and Jesus was a Palestinian so I don't think Jesus would approve of Israel running E. Jerusalem. No, I don't. Not by the people who crucified him.

This was totally a rant... He pissed me off... And you know who you are Mr. :P

(When I say Israeli, I am being general, not all Israeli's are cruel, as not all Palestinians are all koo-koo)

Starting Over...

2006-04-26T13:30:00.000+03:00

I was watching TV last night (MBC4) and I discovered this show called "Starting Over." Its such an amazing concept as I never heard about Life Coaches or anything, and immediately I thought to myself, I NEED A COACH... Well, since they don't exist in Palestine, I am hoping all of you lovely visitors will help me coach myself.

As you all know, I basically feel STUCK. I had to move back to Palestine after my dad passed away last year and now I am just here... I am not doing anything productive. Life is so slow and so stagnent, I mean, besides from the whole situation, the people who live here have very limited choices. I want to break away from this thinking, I feel that I have just let a year pass by and I haven't accomplished anything, I can say that my biggest project has been this blog.

I was reading about self improvement on the web, and I am coming to the conculsion that letting myself feel "stuck" and feeling like I have no control over my life is part of the big problem. Ofcourse, I can sit and blame the Israeli's for confining my movement and making me feel like I live in hell (they are, but I need to take action not just sit and complain) and I can sit and complain about how backwards the people are here and how I don't have a free social life, etc.

I think the first thing I need to do is figure out my goals... I am going to list my goals even if they seem impossible because of the confinement and what not... Then I guess I will think of action plans and stuff, but here goes my list for the next 25 years...

1) I want to design a life that makes me incredibly happy.
2) I want to start my own business. (I need money).
3) I want to get my masters, maybe PHD.
4) I want to learn French & Turkish.
5) I want to personally evolve.
6) I want to travel the world.
7) Identify my unique talent and strengths and leverage them.
8) Learn how to give people what they want without costing me anything (emotionally).
9) I want to stop over-reacting and respond with sense instead (maybe I can find a husband then, hahaha, Just kidding).
10) I want to write a book.
11) Complete projects not just plan and let them go.
12) Increase my self-esteem.

I probably have more, I just have to think about them... Now, how will I implement these, hmmmm....

My Hamas Easter Egg

2006-04-21T19:39:00.000+03:00

My family and I are getting ready for easter this Sunday, so we spent much of today dying eggs. Well, I thought I would post this one I made, its my favorite... I call it "Hamas."

We Need to See the Light!

2006-04-19T11:22:00.000+03:00

If there is light in the soul, there will be beauty in the person.

If there is beauty in the person, there will be harmony in the house.

If there is harmony in the house, there will be order in the nation.

If there is order in the nation, there will be peace in the world.

How true is this Chinese proverb... Maybe this can be the solution... We need to find the light that makes beauty in the person. For this post, I would like for all of you to contribute atleast one "light" or respond to what I think the light is...

Lucy's Light - And I'm Gonna Let it Shine... Some how.

I think that the solution lies in education. Not just learning facts and rote memorization but REAL learning. You know, invovling critical thinking and creative skills. Problem solving, self improvement; meaning showing people how there is HOPE for their situation. With today's technology, you can better yourself sitting at an internet cafe. You can teach yourself anything you want to learn!

I think its important to concentrate on this and see how we can apply critical and creative thinking skills applied to education and self improvement so that people can see a light at the end of a tunnel. We need to introduce the world to the rest of the world, we need to exchange ideas, become some what a think tank within ourselves...

And I know we can do this and I know it will work... I believe it...

6 Israeli's Killed by Suicide Bomber in Tel Aviv

2006-04-17T14:16:00.000+03:00

Before I start my post, I just wanted to give my sympathies for the family and friends of the people that were killed today due to the mindlessness of a suicide bomber.

I just got word of this right now from Al-jazeera and wanted to write something straight away, because I am appauled as many of us are, even in Palestine which may seem surprising for people who think that EVERY Palestinian condones suicide bombings, infact MANY do not, especially now a days. It was different during the intifada, back then it was resistance, but these days it is really terror.

Many of us want to work together for peace for all, but with idiots who think that killing civilians is going to be the answer need to wake up... VIOLENCE IS NOT THE ANSWER!

I want to write more, but I just took a minute to do this, I will be back to respond.

Seriously, this is not right, the violence needs to stop. We need to come up with a solution to teach people who don't seem to see this and we need to do this now, or the situation will just be getting worse.

"Psst... She is Palestinian, so she hates Israel."

2006-04-16T19:07:00.000+03:00

The latest news I heard from my friend, a visitor to my blog, Tomer, is that 'lil 'ol me HATES Israel and I am actually listed on "Blogs that hate Israel" page. I am seriously unsure of their logic as I am reporting happenings in my life, actual experiences of mine, and I have never once said that I hated Israel, I support Hamas, I want an all Palestinian state and I that I want to DRIVE Israeli's into the sea, so honestly, they are stupid and obviously haven't read my blog or corresponded with me, and if any of my nice Israeli web buddies see it, DO NOT BELIEVE IT... Anyway, if you have had correspondance with me and REALLY read my web page you would see that this is not the case at all...

I guess their logic instead is "well, she is Palestinian, she is talking about all of the things that effect her life because of the Israeli GOVERNMENT so she must hate Israel." All I can say is that the person who chose to represent my blog on that list should take a basic course in logic, and learn how to read for comprehension, because they are obviously stupid.

Ha, thats better.... Ok, comments please.

Rumors, Gossip & all that Jazz

2006-04-12T11:23:00.000+03:00

First, Israel stops flour from entering Gaza, and now stops petroleum from the W. Bank. What's next?

Maybe some of you know, well, maybe you don't, but last Sunday Israel stopped petroleum to the W. Bank, granted it lasted only for a day but it was surely done as a slap on the wrist for us bad Palestinians.

This isn't the first time Israel has used these types of tactics on us, I remember a time where we didn't have electricity, running water, and gas for a MONTH, ahh, what memories! In Israel the water is controlled by the Department of Agriculture but the water for the W. Bank is controlled by the Department of Defense so I will let you guys ponder that one... Ok, are you pondering?

Now, I know a lot of you kind hearted souls out there are asking yourselves, why would Israel do this? Well, because Hamas won, it's as simple as that. I also wanted to quickly point out that, during the election, we had "referees" from everywhere to make sure that the election was all democratic and what not, and all the "referees" went back to their respective countries and confirmed that we had a democratic election, and yes, we had referees from the USA too. So anyway, Hamas was elected with a democratic election. Now, that Hamas won in this democratic election, now the USA and a couple others don't want to talk to Palestinians. Ok, the logic here kills me.

So anyway, these days I am just sitting and contemplating my future as I do not know what will be happening. Am I going to be free or are things going to get worse? I'm in limbo.

So there are rumors floating around of course, that Israel plans on cutting off the water, electricity and gas to W. Bank again but for a longer time. I think we should get a generator. At my house we already have a water depot under our house and we use solar power to heat our water, so that's good, but we have to prepare for electricity if that is taken away from us. I know that we can go exactly one month without getting our water replenished, after that, who knows.

Ok, I just wanted to let you all know where I am at now since I haven't updated in awhile... I am sorry, I have been really busy, we have an upcoming wedding in my family soon so I am helping with preparations, my lovely and handsome brother is getting married to his lovely long time girlfriend. Now, it will just be me and mama at home, although they will be living close by!

Take care all of you, I will write soon!

Myspace should recognize Palestine Petition

2006-03-22T13:26:00.000+02:00

I think that MySpace should recognize PALESTINE on their country list... Visit Myspace for more details on how to sign the petition:

http://www.myspace.com/palestinianprincess1

Jericho - The Oldest City on Earth

2006-03-15T11:28:00.000+02:00

A sad day in Palestine again, as Israeli forces attacked a prison in Jericho to capture an "already captured" Palestinian charged with attempt to assassinate a right wing Israeli leader that supports the excommunication of the Palestinian people.

The lack of respect for Palestinian Police is undeniably disgusting and is also the root of evil with internal Palestinian problems, which, I think is the whole reason why the Police are disrespected by the Israeli's, to cause internal strife within our lands.

The internal strife I talk about, is the gangs here within Palestine. They are civilians that carry guns around the city, they shoot into the air at night, they drive around stolen cars that do not have plates, they try to intimidate their own people; they are Palestinian cowboys. They think that they alone will liberate Palestine with these archaic techniques using violence and what not when they don't understand how the world works anymore, mainly because they have probably never traveled outside of there controlled borders and there lack of formal and cultured education.

It is illegal in Palestine to have civilians carry guns but we see it everyday. The days that the Police are in the city, things feel so good and so normal. They check every car to make sure it is registered and licensed, that the driver is licensed, and no civilians in the street have guns.

You see, our system here works differently then in the rest of the world. It is illegal for us to have our own police according to Israel. If Israel decides to come into our city they warn our people that if they see anyone with a uniform they will shoot and kill him. So when things just start to feel good again, Israel decides they need to come monitor the city, which means, all police hide and all civilians are confined to there home as they drive around in there hummers, etc.

I am not sure if they showed footage of the prisoners and police as they were exiting the prison, didn't you think it was odd that they didn't have any clothes on? Well, the reason for that is, like I said, if they see you wearing a Palestinian uniform, they will be shot and killed, no warning and no questions asked.

The Israeli's do not "work with" the Palestinian Police and government to bring criminals to justice, they undermine there power and their pride instead.

I am proud and will always be proud of our government, Hamas or what not, because they will not undermine my people, my government, and the police that are working to make our country better.

We do not have any choices. We do not have any power.

How are powerless & hopeless people to act? Discuss.

For Peace - Kill the Arabs & Muslims

2006-03-06T10:42:00.000+02:00

You know I was just reviewing my comments and I wanted to apologize for being SO sarcastic, I know I am not going to solve anything this way, but I know I am not going to solve anything anyway, whether I argue with premise or whether I am sarcastic about my situation. Sometimes I have to act this way to just deal with it.

I know Arabs suck. I know they are narcissistic, they can't laugh at themselves, they know everything, and I know they associate and feel comfortable with people that have the same beliefs as themselves, but they are still my people, especially Palestinians.

I can't dismiss Palestine as a barbaric peoples because they are fighting to keep their land and win their freedom. My family has been on this land, probably since the time of Jesus, we have a written history of my family six generations anyway, so I know that I am an original to this land.

I don't condone suicide bombings of killing of civilians, but does it make a difference if they have uniforms and target soldiers?

How can ANYONE tell me that I am wrong to feel the way I feel? Have you walked my life?

A lot of you come on here and leave your comments, and when I read them, I am just so disappointed that you can't even acknowledge what I feel as relevant but instead talk about how barbaric and low class Palestinians or Arabs are. It's irrelevant, because this is a personal blog about my life and my experiences and my feelings. How can I not be sarcastic??

How can I not be sarcastic when no one even acknowledges how I must be feeling and instead goes into all the wrong things SOME Palestinians do to encourage my occupation?

You know before the second Intifada life was really nice, Nablus was such a cool place to be and visiting family from around the country was easy. But after Sharon's visit to al-Aqsa mosque the people went crazy... Yes, I know... STUPID, STUPID, STUPID... It's the same feeling as the people that went nuts after the Muhammad caricature, again, STUPID, STUPID, STUPID... It's so easy to stir up the Muslim Arabs!

So since the world knows how to get a reaction easily from these people, its easy to piss them off and in turn control them. My point of this blog is not to talk about what has happened and why and who is right and who is wrong, but it is to talk about how to improve the people.

I mean, what kinds of comments can I make to someone who leaves this type of comment to me:

"I pray for the day Hamas has tanks, uniforms and a country. At that point they will no longer be able to hide behind the word "refugees" and finally the world will be able to watch their mass destruction on TV as the bombs, tanks and air forces combine to wipe them, and their people, from the planet so that folks around here can finally remember what it is like to breathe."

Ok, so nuke us you idiot... For Peace - Kill the Arabs & Muslims... DUH! That's all I can say, is there any other comment that justifys the comment left to me? Is there? Stay tuned for more.

Church Attacked by Israeli Terrorists

2006-03-05T12:02:00.000+02:00

A lot of you have asked me if I city if I felt threatened or had any acts of violence or prejudice towards me since I am a Christian minority in an almost 95% Muslim city and my answer is, No.

I don't know how to explain this to a predominately western reader base I have on this blog. Even though we have different religions, we still have a respect for each other. There isn't any incident of defacing churches or anything. Even when we have activities in our churches many Muslims attend, it isn't a forbidden thing. The only thing that isn't looked upon well is if a Muslim and Christian marry, and even though it happens, the gossip is the only harmful thing that will happen.

I was prompted to write this entry after the incident in Nazareth and basically its dismissal as not an attempt as a terrorism act but instead labeled an act of "personal distress." I mean, I have a lot of personal distress but if I went and put an explosive in a Synagogue, I would for sure be labeled a terrorist because I am from the West Bank, not just a girl with "personal distress."

I am just so disappointed for not only what happened but I am more disappointed on how it is down played. And even if you read the al-jazeera article, it says "the worst ethnic violence in Israel, police killed 13 Arab-Israeli demonstrators who blocked a highway in October 2000, shortly after the outbreak of the Palestinian uprising," are people confused or something. The Arab-Israeli's are Palestinians who never left there home during the Israeli occupation, they are Palestinians. If that is considered ethnic violence, than why isnt the killings that happen in the West Bank and Gaza considered ethnic violence.

I have very little hope for this land. I hope to see freedom one day, but I don't think I will. Again, I am just a princess under occupation and I feel it.

Cabby Gets Shot

2006-02-23T14:36:00.000+02:00

So imagine... You are a cabby, you get a call at 5am to pick a customer up to take them to work. The customer lives by Balata camp, which you know is under curfew now, and soldiers are in the vicinity, 2 are already dead in Balata. So since your customer isn't IN Balata, you accept and drive over there... Its still dark out and you notice on the road that there is an Israeli hummer, so you KNOW the road is closed, so you don't bring too much attention to yourself, you turn the lights off and make a u-turn to go home. You're on the phone with the customer to tell them that you can't enter that part of the city because the soldiers have blocked the road and you are going back ho ---- As you feel a sudden pressure in the lower part of your head and hear more gun shots and another bullet enters you in the shoulder. Actually, I now know that exactly 40 more shots were fired.

((NEWS FLASH - I just got news that there was an explosion in Balata, and 4 peramedics have been shot and are injured, I will update as soon as I can))

Ok, back to the cabby, who happens to be a close friend of my families, and is like 60 years old!!

He is living though, my brother just got back from the hospital and he is gonna make it, they can't take the bullet out of his shoulder though, it could be to risky of an opperation for him. Oh, and after he was shot and the Israeli soldiers went to see what was up, they realized he was an innocent old man and called the ambulence straight away -- so sweet of them!

((ROLLS EYES))

I mean the man was driving AWAY, not towards them, he wasn't a risk.... He just knew because this happens all the time, that when you get too close they get on their loud speaker and say "GET BACK GET BACK" so you gotta turn around anyway, I guess he looked "suspicious" when he turned his lights off...

NOTE TO SELF - Do not leave your house when soldiers are ANYWHERE in the city... because they could pop up anywhere and if you look suspicious you will be shot.

Why are you better than me?

2006-02-12T12:20:00.000+02:00

Everyone on the planet is in exactly the same state of moral worth, because we are all doing the best we can with what we have. Poor upbringings cause many people to not have much to do their best with, but hey, that's life. Criminals, terrorists believe they are powerless, so breaking the social contract is the only way they think they can get what they need and manage to feel somewhat powerful. They think they are doing what is good for the better of what they know.

People without that hang-up can see that cooperation and respect are really how things get accomplished, but both of these types of people are simply trying to live a fulfilling life using the methods that they think have the best chance of working. So you see, people are basically good. They are all trying to do their best. They often just need some help overcoming inner demons and behavior patterns that aren't really working for them.

Obviously, we are all in the same boat. You are doing the best you can with what you have. You are already living the most moral and correct life you know how to live. There is no more that you can do at this moment to be a better person. You are already a good person. You do not have to strive every moment to be better than it is possible for you to be. Smile at yourself. You're OK.

This goes for everybody... For all of you so quick to point fingers and call this person or that person a terrorist, needs to live in their shoes. How can you be so quick to judge someone when you do not live there life?

They are just doing your best with what they have. What you can do is learn where your blind spots are. Watch others. People who at first glance are just plain old bad people are on further investigation suffering from horrendous misconceptions about how the world works. You also have misconceptions about the best way to get what you want. Find those misconceptions and wake up!

No one is perfect not even the wonderful, glorious west.

Around Town...

2006-02-07T17:02:00.000+02:00

I decided to drive around town and hit up the "news" hot spots for you all... Here is a photo of the French Cultural Center that was closed down after the political cartoon scandel...

In Nablus, about 30 gunmen arrived at the French cultural center planning to vandalize the building, but agreed, after negotiating with Palestinian police guarding the building, only to write on the building. They scrawled in black on the door an "X," "This place is closed" and "God is great."

I Also passed by the house where the killing of al jihad islami leader, Ahmed Ridad, took place. I didn't want to be disrespectful so I only took this one, but it seems like by night fall, things are looking a bit more normal around the city.

I'm Scared...

2006-02-07T13:51:00.000+02:00

Just read this for the first time and its quite scary... The Hazit party is just as radical as Hamas if not more.

'HAZIT' has determined that conquering the land is moral and that expelling the enemy is moral. The Torah of Israel is the primary source of human morality, and according to one of its mitzvahs, Israel must conquer and liberate the Land. There is nothing more moral than the conquest and liberation of the Land of Israel by the People of Israel. "HAZIT" declares that the expulsion of the enemy from the land will completely solve all of the state's most serious problems, as it will disconnect terror from its roots and will remove the chance of war. "

Uhhh, woah baby... After World War II, expulsion was a euphemism for ethnic cleansing of territories settled by Germans. Ethnic cleaning, WHAT?? I think I should be worried...

Let us hope that they never control the Israeli government.

And a statement from hamas's charter...

"The Islamic Resistance Movement believes that the land of Palestine is an Islamic Waqf consecrated for future Moslem generations until Judgement Day. It, or any part of it, should not be squandered: it, or any part of it, should not be given up."

This world sucks.

Infront of My Home

2006-02-07T12:08:00.000+02:00

At 7am sharp I was awoken by the words "wake up, wake up," but this time it wasn't my mom it was the Israeli soldiers that came into the city. I looked out my window and saw about 4 hummers infront of my house. I ran into the kitchen where my mom was preparing safiyha (arabic pizza) for breakfast, she said that the Jews have entered the city since 4am this morning. We never know why they entered until later, but we can only guess they came to take down a radical Palestinian. Anyway, I took out my camera to get some shots for you guys, this was the first one, taken directly out my window.
The untold rule is when the soldiers enter, no one leaves there home. So ofcourse life didn't begin until they left about half an hour ago. I live on a main street and it was obviously far from where the person was killed but I heard too many sound bombs and shooting today. Its amazing the first couple minutes you see the soldiers infront of your home you feel scared and anxious and after a couple minutes you can't help but feel hate and anger, but that didn't stop me from drinking my mint tea and eatting my safiyha. And thats one point of the problem with occupation, it starts to feel normal... SCARY!

I'm not sure if this is common knowledge but when the soldiers enter the city with a mission to kill a militant they surround the place that they are hiding to force him to surrender. If he doesn't surrender they usually fire to kill him then destroy the resident or commercial building in which he was hiding. Here is one of the bull dozers I caught a photo of and a hummer in the background.

So today was "exciting" nonetheless, it was like watching a movie, I haven't seen this in a while, since they don't usually come to the part of the city I live in, they usually go downtown, but today, I was where all the action was at.

I still don't know the total news, but from gossip, since WE ALL PHONE EACHOTHER to see if one has any news, the rumor is that they came to kill an El-Islami Jihad leader and to destroy his home. In the process two Israeli soldiers were severly wounded.

And here is a photo of some of our intelligent youth throwing stones and watching the hummers do there thing. At one point, one hummer zoomed up the road and all the kids went running as fast as they can. After the hummer disappeared they came out again to watch them and annoy them with stones this is when I got the photo. My brother was kidding with me today that I am a photo journalist... Anyway, this whole scene with the kids and the hummer reminded me of Tom & Jerry, a cat and mouse chase.

For those of you who are not lucky enough to see what tear gas looks like, my brother ran into the street to grab this for your viewing pleasure. Yeah, my mom freaked out that he is going outside but this was in the name of photo journalism! Anyway, the streets were cloudy and sound bombs going off here and there and ofcourse there is the random shooting. And you ask how do I know the difference between sound bombs and real missiles? After years and years of experience living in Palestine, you just can tell the difference. Missiles are like 100x louder, although I have had a sound bomb thrown between my legs by soldier and I almost shit my pants because I didn't know it was only a sound bomb.

But which West Bank or Gaza Palestinian hasn't experienced that?

Mother Earth & Nature

2006-02-04T11:18:00.000+02:00

Wake up Palestine! We need to start taking care of our country and our environment. If we do not respect our country, who will? Environmental issues often touch on people's fundamental beliefs and shake up the values that they hold dear. For this reason, take a look around our country... Does it reflect good things about us?

I know we are all going through a tough time now, but we need to start taking care of ourselves, our community, and our land. I am not sure how I alone am going to do this, but atleast this blog is keeping track of my ideas, lol...

All I know is as educators, parents, and inhabitants of this earth we have to deepen our and our childrens environmental awareness. With everything that has been going on in the Middle East, sometimes things like this are taken lightly, but I am encouraging my Palestinian Family to try to live normally under occupation, one day someone will hear our voices.

Let us be peaceful with ourselves, our environment, let us concentrate on building a future for ourselves, do not worry, we will have our freedom one day, one day when our voices our finally heard. Be strong and make our children strong. Let's make a world for them that feels safe and lets start with a peaceful step, one at a time. Let us show the world that we are an intelligent community, because I know Palestinians are among the most educated societies in the Middle East.

Update: My Trip to Ramallah 01/31/06

2006-02-01T14:11:00.000+02:00

Ok, so I wanted to post why my trip home took me 3 hours and why I saw the Israeli soldiers questioning Settelers...

"AMONA OUTPOST, West Bank (Reuters) - Israeli riot police clashed with stone-throwing settlers trying to block the demolition of part of an unauthorized Jewish outpost in the West Bank in violent scenes reminiscent of Israel's Gaza pullout. Black smoke from tires protesters set alight rose above the hilltop Amona outpost on Wednesday where thousands of Israeli ultranationalists barricaded themselves in houses vowing to fight the destruction of nine uninhabited buildings. Riot police on horseback, coming under a hail of rocks, used clubs to beat back the crowd made up mostlyof religious youngsters, some wearing the orange ribbons that had symbolized resistance to the Gaza withdrawal five months ago. About 40 protesters and several policemen were hurt. Amona was the latest battleground for settlers angry over the unilateral Gaza pullout and keen to prevent additional withdrawals in the occupied West Bank if interim Prime Minister Ehud Olmert's Kadima party is elected in a March 28 election."

I Don't Think This Is Happy...

2006-02-01T13:44:00.000+02:00

"The chief duty of governments, in so far as they are coercive, is to restrain those who would interfere with the inalienable rights of the individual, among which are the right to life, the right to liberty, the right to the pursuit of happiness and the right to worship God according to the dictates of one's conscience." -William Jennings Bryan quotes (American Politician and Orator. 1860-1925)

Settlements In the West Bank

2006-02-01T13:20:00.000+02:00

I can't convince a world filled with hate & bias. Sometimes I am just so sad when some people do not want to acknowledge what happened to and what continues to happen to the Palestinians everyday. I feel like it is so obvious but because we are so desperate for help, the groups that make the most noise wins in attention, whether it be Israeli Public Relations or Palestinian Radical PR.

This post is to just clear up what my blog is about. My blog is simply a diary of what goes on in my life and in my head. Basically, it is a perspective of the situation of someone who lives it day by day. There are a lot of blogs out there that give you the perspective of an activist, a Palestinian organization, or an Israeli, or Israeli organization or a settler but I couldn't find any of just a plain old Palestinian living the life that is in question in a very conservative and assumingly radical part of the West Bank, so we are not talking about a Ramallah girl here we are talking about a Christian girl who lives in a VERY conservative Muslim city.

I always get asked the question if I, as a Christian, relate to the Muslim Palestinians, etc. First off I want to talk a bit about Palestine and how I feel about it. I love Palestine, it is my country and we have 5 generations of recorded history. My ancestors died on this land and I can visit their grave whenever I want, so I am definitely not an immigrant to this land. I am guessing after Jesus times, my ancestors along with many other Jews converted to Christianity. I know the Jews were exiled from the land by the Romans, who were Pagans at the time, in the year, 135 but I dont think Christians were and that doesn't explain the original Jews of this land, the Samaritans. So if someone knows, please clarify. Anyway, the Muslim Arabs conquered the land in 638 and people who were non-Muslims were taxed so many of the poorer Christians and Jews converted to Islam, as legend has it, I am going on hear say here people. Again the same thing in 1516-1917 when the Ottomans ruled, but under ottoman rule, more Jews returned to the land because Ottomans didn't persecute anyone for their religious beliefs, except I think they were still taxed as were the Christians.

So, I feel that this land is the land of many people as is the rest of the world. So, going back to the regular question, I relate to the following people; The Palestinian Muslims, the Palestinian Christians, and the Palestinian Samaritan Jews (which are in my opinion the original Jews or in other words Ancient Judiasm Sect). We have no problems living together, we like each other, we go to each others funerals and weddings, and we have no qualms about living together. The only difference between us is our religions, which we do not rub in each others face, ever, and that only the Samaritans get the rights as an Israeli would because they are Jewish, but it doesn't matter as they consider themselves Palestinians anyway, haha! Btw, my best friend is a Muslim and a good friend of my families is a Samaritan Jew, so go figure for yourselves how we feel about each other. We are neighbours and we are friends.

So anyway, the only thing that I roll my eyes at is the people who have original nationality as French, Russian, American etc. But have Jewish as their religion, coming to this land and building where they please, what they please, and moving about freely.

I mean, really does it make sense? The root problem of all this is racism and its evil counterpart, nationalism. Israeli law claims that any Jew, anywhere in the world, has a right to full Israeli citizenship, while Arabic-speaking Palestinians have no such right even if they were born and have lived all their lives on the territory now comprising Israel. Don't you think this is an inherently racist policy? Please comment.

Honestly, in these days, I think all the people in the camps should get over getting their land back, because IT AINT GONNA HAPPEN and I think instead they should work on bettering themselves, as they are with the aid of a the NGO etc. I think instead of focusing on making a whole country we should focus on making two separate countries, which is going to bust Palestine's economy but we can work on that. That is why settlers need to move there homes to the Israeli part and leave the West Bank and Gaza for the Palestinians to form officially, be free, and live like normal humans would. Guard the Israeli borders all you want just leave the West Bank and Gaza so we no longer feel your control and feel better about being who we are, Palestinians.

Is this so much to ask for? Apparently!

Travelling to Ramallah Today

2006-01-31T22:08:00.000+02:00

What a day... I was originally going to go to Jenin, and with a last minute call from my friend I decided not to. Rumors were about the city that Israeli's will enter and kill El Jihad Islam supporter or something along those lines, so I decided not to go, but I was up early and ready, so I thought I might as well have fun today, so with a quick call to my friends in Ramallah, I went there. Luckily, I didn’t go to Jenin because 2 Palestinians were killed and one Israeli solder was severely wounded.

So, I went to the checkpoint and passed today, no problems, just a short line and the soldiers were nice and actually a bit smiley today, I took a photo for you guys! Aren’t I sweet, lol... Anyway, I got to Ramallah and had a good time! You can see a picture of my delicious Hamas Lemonade I had in the next post!

Anyway, when I went home, what a headache I have. I am not sure why, yet, but they closed up the main road, so the cab had to go through all of the back roads, so I had a nice tour of villages today. The roads were so bumpy and curvy and some made for just one car, so since all of these people were returning home, we were following each other like a convoy. Finally, we reached the end where it connects to the main road and it was packed. I mean there were so many cars, Palestinian and Israeli plates. Well, the driver needed to go to Jenin actually and I had like 3 km until my checkpoint to enter my city so, I jumped out of the car and walked all the way to my city. There were so many soldiers and I'm so nosey I had to find out. When I was in the cab, the rumor from numerous phone calls with people from the cities said that the settlers closed the roads and were protesting hamas winning, and that's why the soldiers after Berziet had us go through the villages, but I am not sure how accurate that was. Because when I got out of the cab, I saw some soldiers speaking with a settler and also while walking I stopped one and asked him what the commotion was and he nicely told me that "they were looking for someone." So I don't know too much information. Anyway, I walked my ass to the checkpoint, passed it, got a cab and now I am home 3 hours later and I have a headache. I was really thinking about writing something profound today but my head hurts and all I want to do is take a shower and sleep. I promise I will write something more interesting tomorrow. Goodnight guys!

New Policies by Hamas...

2006-01-31T22:03:00.000+02:00

Now that hamas won there have been lots of talks on what kind of new laws they will implement into Palestine, as they are the new governing body. I have been hearing some rumors that I would like to share with you:

-Punishment for passing on red and not on GREEN is 5 Rakats of prayer.
-They will implement the law that all taxi's must be green.
-One of their policies is to enforce green peace.

I heard too many jokes today, but I have a headache I can't remember them all now. I will try to get some more together for you guys, lol... But I think these sound better in Arabic. Oh and I am the quick one who made up the lemonade joke.

Check Points 101: A Course in...

2006-01-30T11:52:00.000+02:00

Traveling Within the West Bank! In this first lesson, we will learn how to travel within the West Bank: procedures and requirements. I think this is one of the main things that really upset me. I mean, when I was living in Manhattan and I wanted to visit a friend in Long Island, I would get up, get dressed, grab my car keys and drive there, the only thing I had on my mind was how the traffic was. Well, now, if I want to visit a friend in a neighboring city that is 25 minutes by car, I have to have a different routine and a different plan.

I have to wake up early because by noon the checkpoints are crazy packed... And anyway, the soldiers are a bit nicer in the morning, just a little tip. Anyway after getting dressed and ready to leave I need to double check and see if I have everything I need so that I don't get in trouble... First, do I have my yellow star badge, oops I mean my green Palestinian ID badge - check; Another form of Identification so the soldier can cross reference it - check; Daily Permit for my car - If I have applied weeks before for a daily permit to drive my own car to the city - Check; Do I know the times the checkpoint will close so that I can get back in time - Check. Check, check, check... Ok, let's go...

So, I usually don't take my car because you are more hassled, its not just one check point you know, you have the main one outside of your city, but as you are making your trip using back roads because the main roads are only allowed for the illegal settlers, because you know, we might bite them. So we must take the nasty back roads that are in dire need of re-pavement and safety barriers along the sides of the mountains.

So anyway, I usually just take a cab. So, let's start from my house. I get out of my house and I hail a cab to take me to the checkpoint, I get out of the cab and get in line to go through "the cage," I swear it looks just like one, anyway, the soldiers call you up one by one. This is when I start getting really nervous, because you don't understand them. Sometimes they have no one and they are just standing around twiddling their thumbs as 50 Palestinians wait to go through the damn check point. So you have to wait until they call you, if you go before they ask you to come, they YELL at you, embarrass you, and then make you go to the back of the line. If you use checkpoints enough that's when you really start to see the humiliation of the people. So finally when it is your turn for interrogation; "Where are you going? Why are you going? Who do you know there? What will you do?" then they go through your bag and take out EVERYTHING on to a table, so girls if you have your period your tampons will be rolling on top of the desk for everyone to see and if the soldiers are mean enough they will make fun of you too... It's lovely. BTW, not all the soldiers are assholes, some are nice actually. But, I have never met a nice woman soldier, I guess I have an effect on some of the men, lol, so they are just nice to me, hahaha.

Then if they want to let you through they will and if they don't want to let you through you're screwed, no seeing your friend that day. If they don't let you through, there is nothing you can do about it other than try another checkpoint at the opposite end of the city, or try again another day. If you are let through, you exit "the cage" and walk some more where you find all the cabs from the other side of the checkpoint to take you to where you need to go.
I say its easier to go with a cab, because the checkpoints I was talking about when you go with your car, you still pass through with a cab but the cabbie is the one who has to deal with their questions...

By the time you get to your friends house from the time that you left your house is about 2-3 hours if you're lucky, and it can take longer if your not, mind you this was a 25 minute trip if we were free.

Traveling to another part of the territory called Gaza Strip is yet another adventure, and if you are traveling to Jordan to fly internationally is yet another adventure, and to get permission to go to Jerusalem is yet another adventure, and to go to Israel yet another adventure... Stay tuned for more adventures with the Palestinian Princess as your teacher and guide for Check Points 101.

Let Us Educate Our Children

2006-01-29T18:24:00.000+02:00

Children are our countries future right? If you believe this then we have to try to teach anyone that think guns are cool that they are absolutely not. Guns = Violence = Killing. Bad, bad, bad.

This is where I feel the Palestinian social education needs to be improved. It is amazing how many people here think its normal to allow thier children to play with toy guns, I mean, even my wonderful dearest sister, who is totally sophisticated and classy woman let's her 5 year old play with a toy gun, I don't think so!! I know that they just think its cool, and all the big powerful Israeli soldiers they see on a daily basis are holding these guns and I know that guns are apart of many of the childrens daily lives - they see the soldiers, and many of the "ghetto" people here carry guns, so we need to change this, but the question is, how? Well, I know how to get rid of the ghetto people we have walking around the city with guns - Palestinian Police... But their power is always underminded because when Israel says get out of the cities, they must... So, that solution is shot in that air, so to speak, lol... I will leave that for the real political people and activists, that would be way over my head!

NOTE TO SELF : Go to the Palestinian Ministry of Education website and read up on curricula, etc.

Ok, anyway, we need to education the public that this isn't the appropriate toy. And for the adults shooting in the air isn't appropriate way to celebrate. I forgot what shooting sounded like, until I came back home.

After living in New York City, I was used to the way the traffic sounded at night, as I am getting used to the way shooting sounds at night. This is not normal people! I am so saddened that my children will one day have to endure the sounds of bullets being shot in the air, for whatever reason. That is why I am going to make one of my missions to make guns totally uncool, because they are.

BTW, I took this photo while driving around the city, I had nothing to do and thought I would just photograph, and when I saw these kids, I was like... "hell no, this is exactly what needs to be changed here." So it is my mission to take all the toy guns from the children. Watch out, because I will take your toys away!

Talking on the phone

2006-01-29T11:45:00.000+02:00

I was talking to my friend last night, and we were wondering what will happen to us now that Hamas is in government. I didn't vote, but I know a lot of people who did vote for Hamas voted for them because they haven't stolen from the people and have actually made great strides to make living in Palestine better. I guess I would have voted for them too. We need to give them a chance. Why, you may ask?

Well, why not? The world has come to know them as suicide bombers, but they fail to remember why they encouraged that. It was the intifada, Israeli soldiers were in the streets, Palestinians were confined to their homes, sometimes without electricity and water and worst of a lot of innocent people were losing their lives including children . I remember those days, as thats when I was sent to the US to study because my father would rather have me away than to experience the terrors of what was happening to our land. Palestine did not have an organized army, the people had no one to depend on to protect their land, their country, and their people. So enter Hamas... A group that gave the people hope and faught back. They were kamikazi's. They were protecting us when we had no one to protect us.

So back to my telephone conversation... Since many people in the world do not know what Hamas is all about, since a lot of the people do not know what humiliation we go through everyday, they are oblivious and they believe the propoganda.

Israel has a lot of money, and there are more Jewish people in New York than in Israel alone and they are educated and strong people. Ofcourse they are going to protect what they believe is right, but at the expense of a lot of indigenous Palestinian lives. They have the means to make campaigns and reach a lot of people to teach about their culture, heritage, and what not... And as Palestinians we have to sit and watch because we can't even leave our cities to go to schools, and travel the world let a lone think about campaigns on improving the Palestinian image.

I gaurantee if any of you in cyber world were to live the lives of even the "luckiest" Palestinian you would quickly change your views and see that the treatment we receive by some of the Israeli soldeirs is just down right aweful. I say luckiest, because my situation is a hell of a lot better than a lot of people here, and if you were living my life and you are coming from the west, you would either turn into a suicide bomber or become a major activist, Ok, thats not funny, but its true!

And I say some Israeli's and some Jewish people, because there are alot of good ones! I have many Israeli Jewish friends who sympathize with the Palestinian people, oh yes, they do exist. But we don't ever hear about them in the news... Hmmm, I wonder why?

Thank god for the internet!

2006-01-28T13:50:00.000+02:00

Being a princess isn't all it's glamorized to be. Then again, I'm not actually considered a "princess," yet. We, as a colonized country have yet to take control of our country once and for all. I believe it will happen one day, but for now, I'm just a princess under occupation.

I am digressing.

Anyways, I currently live in the West Bank. I am 26 years old and a graduate from an Ivy League university in the States; where I studied the Fine Arts so I'm not so into the political mumbo jumbo, but when you live in this part of the world, you can't just ignore it because once you leave your home its in your face constantly.

After coming back from the United States, a place I called home for 5 years, living back here is like waiting for your death sentence to carry out. Don't get me wrong, this is one of the most beautiful countries in the world. Palestine has beautiful olive tree covered mountains, gorgeous architectural cathedrals, and the kindest most welcoming people in the world. But there is something about occupation that just doesn't feel right.

I will use this blog to let all you all in the free world see what my life in the West Bank is like, through photographs, art and my musings. Thank god for the internet!